Forgetting to Feel
by angelface04
Summary: She's forgotten how to feel...he's never known how to. Oneshot. [Draco x Angelina] Edited: 08.01.05


**A/N** - HEY everybody! Here I am with another Draco/Angelina one-shot…I hope you don't mind that I keep posting these things up. This one was a lot harder to write…at first I mean. I knew that I wanted to make another D/A after I wrote Just Draco (if you haven't read it go do so - it's real quick, **I PROMISE**!) and I wrote and wrote and **_wrote_** and finally came up with **this.**

This is from Angelina's POV - because I thought that it would be interesting to see Angelina's take on things. This **could **be a companion piece or a prequal (pre-qual? Whatever…) to Just Draco, but I prefer to think that it stands alone…

_**ANYWAYS…**_

Enough of my ramblings and on with the story…R&R and tell me what you think…

**Disclaimer**: This stuff isn't mine…yaddda yadda yadda….

Enjoy.

-

-

-

Forgetting to hurt - it becomes habit after so long.

Forgetting to **feel **that's different. No emotions - happiness, sadness, anger frustration…_nothing_.

But…that's how I've been lately.

And everyone's noticed.

Everyone eyes me with sympathy. They think that they know what's going on - they think they know **why** I don't feel.

But they don't.

No one does.

Well…

No one except **him**.

He's the only one that knows why my world's falling apart…and he's the only one who will sit back and watch with a smirk on his lips but pain in his eyes.

_Flashback _

_The words felt like slashes by the sharpest of knives._

_"I think that we should…take a break." She knew what they _really _meant…that it was _over _and that Fred Weasley was just to chicken to say it to her face._

_That was the straw that broke the camel's back, the final crack in a dam holding back thousands of unshed tears._

_She broke. Right there in front o him her knees buckled, her body collapsed, and tears of pain, anger, hatred, and heartbreak poured down her cheeks._

_His mouth fell open._

_"Angie - I - I didn't know that you would take it this hard…I…" But she didn't answer._

_She couldn't._

_She couldn't tell him that she had seen this coming - that she hadn't taken it that hard, that it was just one thing after another after **another.**_

_He moved to comfort her, and she didn't shrug him off. She let him rub her back, telling her that he was sorry because she **couldn't open her bloody mouth and t ell him the truth.**_

_That those tears…_

_They weren't for him…_

Present 

I know that I'm distant. I know that I look crude and mean and uncaring…

But I'm not.

I'm just tired of being hurt.

My family has been **demolished.**

My Mother and Father had a nasty divorce, my sister ran away with some American, and my brother was killed in a muggle car accident **all in the same month.**

Why didn't I tell my friends?

I don't know…

I just **couldn't.**

I didn't want to be smothered in sympathy…I didn't want to be the cause of whispers in the corridors and sad looks and those **bloody pity speeches**.

So I put on the **same pathetic mask**that I've been wearing for **way too long** and came back to school with a beautiful smile but a **torn up heart.**

And he saw it. He saw straight through me, I didn't fool him for **one second.**

And that rattled me. That scared me to **death.**

Then Fred…when he told me **we **were over…

God…

He told me he **loved **me…

And even though I knew that it was coming…that he was getting **sick and tired **of me…I refused to acknowledge it.

Because I couldn't **handle anymore**.

And when it did roll around, and I could hear my heart and feel my throat tighten and tears well up, it **hurts more than it should.**

Then this **_EVIL _**Umbrich woman kicks Harry, George and Fred off of the quidditch team for attacking Draco…

_Draco…_I mean - **Malfoy**. Malfoy's been weird this year…Different….to me…like…something's changed.

Maybe something has…

But he gives me these **_looks_**…

Looks so full of desire and longing that I _know_ that he wants me…

**He needs me.**

And I think that in some sick twisted way…

**I need him too.**

So when I catch him, all alone, coming late from Potions where Snape was probably giving him a lecture about being the _best student ever_, I yank him into an empty closet.

"What the -!"

"Shh!" I place my hand over his moth and suddenly I think that he realizes that it's **me.**

I take my hand away slowly, because I know that he's not going anywhere. His eyes soften for a second, then harden back up quickly, because He knows that he can't show **any sign of weakness.**

But it's **too late.**

I've found it…the chip in his façade, the chink in his armor.

'Don't play games with me Malfoy…I know _you know_ what's going on and -"

"And what?" His words are almost challenging me, his eyes saying, _"I dare you."_

_"This is it."_ I tell myself. _"No turning back now Angelina, you've gotten this far…"_

"I - just -" And because I can't find words I pull him to me, pressing my lips against his, not surprised when he tenses up and half-expecting him to shove me away.

But he **kisses me back.**

And as he does I feel goosebumps erupt all over me, because I know that **this is right.**

He pulls me closer, his hands stroking my back and my arms linked securely around his neck.

We break apart too soon, panting and wondering, "W**_hat have we just done?"_**

He doesn't say anything at first, just stares into my eyes and he doesn't need words to tell me what I can plainly see.

And as much as I will them not to, my tears begin to fall, and as much as I need him to, but wish he wouldn't, he starts to kiss them away _one by one._

And as his lips caress my face I realize that there's **nowhere else I'd rather be.**

Finally my tears dry up, and his eyes look glassy as he pulls away from me, his mouth forming the unsaid words that haunt us both.

_I love you…_

And he shakes his head sadly, kissing me one last time because he knows just as well as I do that it **won't happen again.**

"I'm sorry." Are the only words that he says as he slips away, taking my heart with him.

-

-

-

-

The End


End file.
